So this dude was marrying christians and the Roman emperor was against that shit and he had the priest arrested. He kind of liked the friar because he knew some funny jokes and could do some awesome card tricks. But then Father Valentine started in on Emperor Claudius to become a catholic. Well Claudius was having none of that so he had Valentine beaten and stoned and then beheaded. His heart was ripped from his body and put on a spike.
Through the years things have gotten lost in translation and now we are stuck with this jacked up holiday where we buy overpriced flowers and jewelery. I propose we go back to the roots and get some good ol' fashioned stonings and beatings going again. Should go over well. I want to see the hallmark card!
